Is self-pity crippling you? Self-pity is probably one of the most controversial subjects to deal with, but it is vitally necessary. People don't want to admit to being self-piteous, but unfortunately we all suffer from it, to different degrees, at some stage or another. Reading about it can help you to become aware of it, and you can thus take steps to gain control of it.
The self-pity pit must be the absolute worst place for anyone to be, yet it is much easier to stay there than it is to crawl out of it. The great thing is that once you have crawled out of it, it becomes easier the next time round. You feel more empowered, and eventually you might only tip your big toe into the pit before becoming aware of it and stopping yourself.
"What poison is to food, self-pity is to life."
~ Oliver C. Wilson
"Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do any wise in this world."
~ Helen Keller
(Helen Keller was born blind, deaf and dumb, but overcame all these obstacles with her positive attitude and started the first school for the blind, deaf and dumb. She could never have achieved her goals if she had just sat around feeling sorry for herself.)
"Self-pity is one of the most dangerous forms of self-centredness. It fogs our vision."
~ Anonymous
"Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love.
It is reached when a man deliberately
turns his back on all help from anyone else
in order to taste the rotten luxury
of knowing himself to be lost."
~ Thomas Morton
"Self-pity is a death that has no resurrection,
a sinkhole from which no rescuing hand can drag you
because you have chosen to sink."
~ Elizabeth Elliot
I have personally experienced the deepest depths of that self-pity pit. I spent most of my life there. It just seemed easier, but it brought me even more misery.
The story I tell today is very different, but this was my story:
I was sexually abused from the age of four until I was about seven. (I didn't tell anyone until I was seventeen years old.) By six years of age, it was time to go to school. School was far away, so that meant attending boarding school and only going home for holidays, which meant three times a year. At boarding school there are no mothers to nurture one. I quickly learnt to adapt or die.
I grew up thinking of myself as dirty and soiled, deserving of abuse, thinking that everyone else also saw me that way. I felt horribly sorry for myself. Fortunately nobody else felt sorry for me, or it could have been worse.
With my extremely low self-esteem, I approached my teenage years with rebellion and tried to fit in with the children that were the same. Those lost souls with no direction, but yearning for acceptance anywhere they could get it.
My father was a very strict and principled man, and wanted the best for us. He was prepared to do whatever it took to make us into valuable, successful adults and to protect us from drugs, alcohol and the other evils of the world. I hated him at that time, but when I was seventeen, I thanked him for the great effort he had made, rather than taking the easy way and allowing us to do what we wanted to do, right or wrong. This was my first lesson pertaining to the phrase, "you have to be cruel, to be kind".
By sixteen we had moved to the coast, and I went to a new school. The history teacher once said to me that I have immense potential, and that I was hiding it from the world. Simple as this seems... this was all the faith I needed to get into action and turn my life around. I started working harder and reaping the rewards.
My music teacher often told me that I must stop being a mat and allowing people to walk over me. She was the person that helped me lay the foundation to becoming assertive. It took many years, but she made me realise that I had the courage to do it.
I spent the next ten years being controlled by others and enduring emotional abuse. I had no direction, just did what I could to maintain peace and to make everyone else around me happy. Struggling with my inner battles and feeling sorry for myself. Due to the strong values I was raised with, I did not allow it to push me totally into the ground.
I lost my brother that was four years older than me, and ten years later my mother.
After many years spent in the self-pity pit, I one day realised that it really wasn't helping me at all. I decided to find a solution. I read all I could about psychology, in the hope of finding something that would help me to heal and take control of my life. Nothing helped.
I came upon a book that my father had given me when I was a rebellious teenager, 'The power of positive thinking' by Norman Vincent Peale. I started reading it. I found quotes in my diary and started to read them whenever I felt self-piteous. They allowed me to find the courage and strength I had within. The self-pity pit became a less frequently visited place for me. The time that I visited became shorter and shorter.
I started taking control of my life four years ago when I learnt about the law of attraction. I realised that everything that had happened to me, I had, in some way or another, attracted into my life. Today I take full responsibility for all that comes into my life. I look for the lesson and learn from it. I have never been happier in my entire life, and I continue to become happier every day.
I can do things I never thought possible before. I have discovered many, many of the talents I possess and continue to grow emotionally and spiritually. I am doing what I love to do and creating the life of my dreams. If I can do it, so can you!
Self-pity is a negative emotion and therefore attracts more negative circumstances into one's life. The first step is to become aware of it. Much like an alcoholic must realise he or she has a drinking problem, before he or she can do anything about it. The second step is to be determined to stop yourself and then to do something about it.
A great thing to do is to think about how you benefit from being self-piteous. People may feel sorry for you and give you sympathy... Does that make you feel empowered, or weak? Think about what you can do to improve your circumstances, take action. Once you have done this you will feel empowered that you have overcome one or two, or more obstacles, and you will gain confidence each time.
It helps immensely to look around and notice other people's lives. They are often so much worse off than we are. This makes one realise how fortunate one is. One my favourite quotes was about us all laying our problems down on piles next to each other and then choosing which pile we would like to take. Most people choose their own pile. I think it was one of Sir Winston Churchill's quotes. Doing community service is very beneficial. It makes you realise how fortunate you are compared to others. Say thank you, thank you, thank you.
Please feel free to comment or to email me.
My posts are interrelated as are almost all life matters, so please be sure to read all my posts to receive maximum benefit.
Love, light and abundance ♥
The self-pity pit must be the absolute worst place for anyone to be, yet it is much easier to stay there than it is to crawl out of it. The great thing is that once you have crawled out of it, it becomes easier the next time round. You feel more empowered, and eventually you might only tip your big toe into the pit before becoming aware of it and stopping yourself.
"What poison is to food, self-pity is to life."
~ Oliver C. Wilson
"Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do any wise in this world."
~ Helen Keller
(Helen Keller was born blind, deaf and dumb, but overcame all these obstacles with her positive attitude and started the first school for the blind, deaf and dumb. She could never have achieved her goals if she had just sat around feeling sorry for herself.)
"Self-pity is one of the most dangerous forms of self-centredness. It fogs our vision."
~ Anonymous
"Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love.
It is reached when a man deliberately
turns his back on all help from anyone else
in order to taste the rotten luxury
of knowing himself to be lost."
~ Thomas Morton
"Self-pity is a death that has no resurrection,
a sinkhole from which no rescuing hand can drag you
because you have chosen to sink."
~ Elizabeth Elliot
I have personally experienced the deepest depths of that self-pity pit. I spent most of my life there. It just seemed easier, but it brought me even more misery.
The story I tell today is very different, but this was my story:
I was sexually abused from the age of four until I was about seven. (I didn't tell anyone until I was seventeen years old.) By six years of age, it was time to go to school. School was far away, so that meant attending boarding school and only going home for holidays, which meant three times a year. At boarding school there are no mothers to nurture one. I quickly learnt to adapt or die.
I grew up thinking of myself as dirty and soiled, deserving of abuse, thinking that everyone else also saw me that way. I felt horribly sorry for myself. Fortunately nobody else felt sorry for me, or it could have been worse.
With my extremely low self-esteem, I approached my teenage years with rebellion and tried to fit in with the children that were the same. Those lost souls with no direction, but yearning for acceptance anywhere they could get it.
My father was a very strict and principled man, and wanted the best for us. He was prepared to do whatever it took to make us into valuable, successful adults and to protect us from drugs, alcohol and the other evils of the world. I hated him at that time, but when I was seventeen, I thanked him for the great effort he had made, rather than taking the easy way and allowing us to do what we wanted to do, right or wrong. This was my first lesson pertaining to the phrase, "you have to be cruel, to be kind".
By sixteen we had moved to the coast, and I went to a new school. The history teacher once said to me that I have immense potential, and that I was hiding it from the world. Simple as this seems... this was all the faith I needed to get into action and turn my life around. I started working harder and reaping the rewards.
My music teacher often told me that I must stop being a mat and allowing people to walk over me. She was the person that helped me lay the foundation to becoming assertive. It took many years, but she made me realise that I had the courage to do it.
I spent the next ten years being controlled by others and enduring emotional abuse. I had no direction, just did what I could to maintain peace and to make everyone else around me happy. Struggling with my inner battles and feeling sorry for myself. Due to the strong values I was raised with, I did not allow it to push me totally into the ground.
I lost my brother that was four years older than me, and ten years later my mother.
After many years spent in the self-pity pit, I one day realised that it really wasn't helping me at all. I decided to find a solution. I read all I could about psychology, in the hope of finding something that would help me to heal and take control of my life. Nothing helped.
I came upon a book that my father had given me when I was a rebellious teenager, 'The power of positive thinking' by Norman Vincent Peale. I started reading it. I found quotes in my diary and started to read them whenever I felt self-piteous. They allowed me to find the courage and strength I had within. The self-pity pit became a less frequently visited place for me. The time that I visited became shorter and shorter.
I started taking control of my life four years ago when I learnt about the law of attraction. I realised that everything that had happened to me, I had, in some way or another, attracted into my life. Today I take full responsibility for all that comes into my life. I look for the lesson and learn from it. I have never been happier in my entire life, and I continue to become happier every day.
I can do things I never thought possible before. I have discovered many, many of the talents I possess and continue to grow emotionally and spiritually. I am doing what I love to do and creating the life of my dreams. If I can do it, so can you!
Self-pity is a negative emotion and therefore attracts more negative circumstances into one's life. The first step is to become aware of it. Much like an alcoholic must realise he or she has a drinking problem, before he or she can do anything about it. The second step is to be determined to stop yourself and then to do something about it.
A great thing to do is to think about how you benefit from being self-piteous. People may feel sorry for you and give you sympathy... Does that make you feel empowered, or weak? Think about what you can do to improve your circumstances, take action. Once you have done this you will feel empowered that you have overcome one or two, or more obstacles, and you will gain confidence each time.
It helps immensely to look around and notice other people's lives. They are often so much worse off than we are. This makes one realise how fortunate one is. One my favourite quotes was about us all laying our problems down on piles next to each other and then choosing which pile we would like to take. Most people choose their own pile. I think it was one of Sir Winston Churchill's quotes. Doing community service is very beneficial. It makes you realise how fortunate you are compared to others. Say thank you, thank you, thank you.
Please feel free to comment or to email me.
My posts are interrelated as are almost all life matters, so please be sure to read all my posts to receive maximum benefit.
Love, light and abundance ♥
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