2 WOLVES ~ WHICH ONE TO FEED?

The Two Wolves Within

An old Cherokee and his grandson
Sat around the fire.
He told his grandson of a lesson:
'Two wolves live within us,
And control us.'

One is negative,
and is called by many names:
Anger, envy, jealousy,
Sorrow, regret, greed,
Arrogance, self-pity, guilt,
Resentment, inferiority, lies,
False-pride, superiority and ego.

The other is positive,
And has many characteristics:
Joy, peace, love and hope,
Serenity, humility, kindness,
Benevolence, empathy, generosity,
Truth, compassion and faith.'

The grandson thought about this
And asked:  'Which wolf is dominant?'
The Cherokee simply replied:
'The wolf you feed.'

Have you ever been in a relationship and thought how absolutely awesome your partner is, only to discover down the line that he or she has become a totally different person?  Yes, I am sure you have, it happens all the time, and to all of us.  The fact is that a negative or positive mindset determines who we are.  We all have a choice which wolf to feed.  When we understand what is happening, it is easier for us to accept, forgive, heal, move on and have closure.

The effects of a negative mindset have the ability to change the nicest person into the worst person.  Fortunately this is not his or her inherent character, and can therefore be resolved.   As long as the person is aware of this and has the will to get back into alignment with his or her true nature.

When people are in a positive mindset, they are truly able to love and give of themselves freely and unconditionally.  There are no emotional walls set up for protection against pain that they may experience.  The mind is flooded with positivity.  Problems are seen as challenges, and are overcome as minor irritants, and they become confident in their abilities.  They feel inspired to do things they normally would not do.  Criticism does not phase them too much, and they often see it as constructive.  They are eager to improve themselves and their relationships with others, and by doing so, reach new heights of happiness.

This positive mindset makes them feel like winners, and that anything is possible, and it truly becomes so.  They see it in the unfolding events and bask in it.  They therefore attract more great circumstances, opportunities, happiness, love and excitement into their lives.  They feel great!  They have fed the good wolf and have been rewarded.

This often lasts until the person is faced with constant, strong negativity from somebody who is close to them.  Someone that they value and seek approval from.  Usually someone close to them that has always been breaking them down emotionally.  This negativity from the loved one slowly chips away at their positive mindset.  Anger, feelings of not being in control, self-pity and resentment set in.

They see life as a struggle and they look for the worst in every scenario.  They take every word said to them as a personal insult.  This, linked with one other negative event or circumstance, causes them to stop feeding the positive wolf, and they give up or try to run away from the problems.  Dreams and goals are forgotten...tossed out into the wind.  Past successes are buried so deep in the subconscious that it is as if they never existed.  The negative wolf has been fed too much and takes over... The person becomes a victim in his or her mind.

Playing the role of a victim is the easier thing in the world.  There is no self-responsibility and the victim has the right to blame everyone else for his or her misery.  The victim will make every excuse in the book not to live up to his or her responsibilities and commitments, and becomes impatient and intolerant of everyone around him or her, especially those who have been emotionally abusive towards him or her in the past.

When we play the victim role, we experience fear, anxiety, depression, procrastination, need for approval, difficulty in making decisions, inability to know what we really want, and many other ineffective feelings and behaviours that only serve to bring us more misery.

We lack confidence, engage in compulsive behaviours for temporary relief from tension and anxiety, and lack general direction in our life.

Victims think that the world owes them something and thus expect others to support them and carry them, with no regard for the pain that they cause others.  Unfortunately those closest to the victim are the one's who suffer the most.  Victims are self-absorbed and so deep in the self-pity pit that they don't even realise the pain that they cause those close to them.  They become emotionally abusive, to different degrees, to try to gain control of their lives.  They lack lust for life.  Nothing is possible.

The more indecisive they become, the more others start demanding their rights to be met and begin to take control of situations.  They lack the will to go after what they want, finding excuse after excuse to justify their negativity.  This inability to assert themselves causes a lack of confidence, worthlessness, more feelings of anger and being controlled.  If one doesn't behave responsibly and assertively, one gives up one's control to others.  These negative thoughts and feelings attract more misery and this vicious cycle keeps going.

Love and commitment, which are positive emotions, have no place in a negative mindset.  Victims often forget positive times, as if they never occurred.  Relationships begin to suffer and minor issues and challenges become mountains that are impossible to cross.  The victim refuses to deal with these issues, thinking they are obstacles that could never be overcome.  More often than not, they keep you on a string by feeding you hope, to keep you on as support (they desperately need), but not willing to commit.  Wanting to end the relationship, but still wanting the benefits of your support.  It is easier for them to blame you, than learn the lesson at hand.  Their vision is clouded by negativity.

There is nothing that we can do to help them.  They see motivation as an insult to their character and if we are positive, they see us as not caring and cold.  If we are in pain, they see this as us being weak and adding to their guilt and pain.  If we ignore them and allow ourselves time to heal, they think we don't love them and never have.  They want us to support them, but all we say and do is found to be faulty.  The best thing to do is to remove yourself from the situation.  You probably know the saying:  'You can take the horse to water, but you can't make it drink'.

In the end, we all make our own choices and have a responsibility to ourselves to be happy and live in love and joy.  How can we make others happy, if we cannot be happy ourselves?  How can we love others if we cannot love ourselves?

Find help from an outside source if this is happening to you.  You must break this vicious cycle and free yourself to once more soar the skies of positivity and attain the happiness you are worthy of, and so rightly deserve.  Write a list of what you want and see my next blog with tips to feeding the positive wolf inside you.  Remember that this negative wolf is not who you really are, but who you have allowed yourself to become.

 Many people say they are positive, but the things they speak of show their scarcity mentality.  Being positive means being positive in all areas of your life.  Seeing the best in everyone, in everything... Being grateful.  Saying positive things through gritted teeth is not positive...

We all have our own lessons to learn in every situation and relationship.  Take the time to find out what your lesson is, work on it, and you will have gained much more than you have lost.

Remember that as one door closes, another door opens.  Don't close your eyes to new opportunities.  Get out, grab them and make your life what you want it to be... we only live once and we never know when it will be your last day.  Seize the moment and make it yours!

Your comments and questions are most welcome.

Love, light and abundance ♥