29 June 2012

COMPASSION VS PITY

When you are feeling down and depressed, hurt... or sad about something, and someone comes over to you, sees your distress and says 'Oh shame' and gives you a hug, how do you feel?  Most of us, if not all of us, feel even sadder, and will often burst into tears.  Why do we react this way?

When we are feeling sad or down, we are really dissatisfied with some event or circumstance in our life.  This means we are against what is happening.  We see what is happening as some sort of threat to us.  We feel fear... and thus feel victimised.  We feel as though we don't have any control over the situation.  We have made ourselves into victims.  We have said 'I give up'... or 'There is nothing I can do'... 'I have no control over the situation'.  We have put ourselves on a low energy frequency, and thus attract and connect with others on a low energy frequency.

"We often think of peace as the absence of war; that if the powerful countries would reduce their arsenals, we could have peace. But if we look deeply into the weapons, we see our own minds - our prejudices, fears, and ignorance. Even if we transported all the bombs to the moon, the roots of war and the reasons for bombs would still be here, in our hearts and minds, and sooner or later we would make new bombs. Seek to become more aware of what causes anger and separation, and what overcomes them. Root out the violence in your life, and learn to live compassionately and mindfully."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Is that really what you want?  Do you want to be surrounded by people who expect and want the best of you;  or people that expect and want the worst of you?

Being in a victim mindset means that we are in scarcity mode.  We have disconnected ourselves from our higher intelligence, our divine creator, God.  When we are in need of something, it means we don't have it.  When we don't have something, we are in scarcity mode, as opposed to abundance, which is the knowing that God provides for all of our needs. 

Now when someone comes along and says 'Oh shame.... poor you', or curses the situation or person that is causing this unhappiness, for example; what we unconsciously or consciously think is this:  'See, it is true, I don't have any control over anything, I am a victim.  This person or situation causing me this pain is a tyrant.  This person feeling pity for me also sees me as a victim, and thus feels sorry for me. I have a right to feel this way'.  So our belief that we are a victim is strengthened.

When someone curses and aids you in blaming a situation or another person, they are telling you that you are powerless, that somebody or something else, is controlling you.  They are helping you to give your power away.

On the other hand, if someone were to be callous and say, 'Stop feeling sorry for yourself', we would feel unloved and victimised too.  So what would be a beneficial manner in treating a sad person?

"If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day.  If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime."
~ Lao Tzu

True compassion is not pity, but rather the belief that we all live in abundance, even if someone else thinks they are living in a Universe of scarcity.  It is the knowing that the 'victim' is in abundance, but doesn't realise it at that moment.  True compassion is being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes, to understand and to be objective.  True compassion is an understanding of the pain that the victim is feeling, yet a knowing that all is well.  Isn't it better then to acknowledge understanding, but to let the victim know that there is always a solution, and motivate the victim to find the solution?  Feeling pity for someone only disempowers them, because you are confirming that their situation is indeed pitiful.  They thus feel weak and unable to solve the problem.  Motivating someone to find the solution gives them their power back.  They realise that you have faith in their ability to solve the problem, and begin to acquire this faith in themselves, and they feel empowered. 

This may seem hard and callous to some.  The question is, are you being compassionate, and thus genuinely caring for someone;  or are you pitying someone, which is not genuine concern, but the feeding of your own ego?  Making someone rely on you... making yourself seem like a caring person, when indeed you are doing more harm than good.

Be a being of compassion, and love, and you have contributed to a greater universe of peace and abundance.  You have put yourself on a higher energy frequency, and thus attract people that are on this same higher frequency.  We are very much like radios, we connect on the frequency that we are tuned into.

What frequency is your radio on?

No comments:

Post a Comment