ARE YOU A VICTIM OR A VICTOR?

Many people live with a victim mentality, which causes them to do things that don't make sense. It is easier for us to understand them if we understand why they do the things they do.

Victims find it very difficult to say 'thank you'. Although they may sometimes appreciate something, depending on their level of victimhood, they often feel that by saying 'thank you' they will be making themselves inferior to the person they are thanking. In many cases, the victim has such a high degree of this victim mentality that they do not appreciate anything done for them because they feel that the world owes them.

Victims often treat others badly, and when they are confronted, turn everything around so that they seem like the victims, totally avoiding what they have done. They lack self-responsibility. It is too difficult for them to get past looking at themselves as victims (the fear) to see the harm they do to others. They cannot be objective.

It is for this reason that victims lack empathy. They cannot see another's pain or suffering because they are drowning in their own pain and suffering.

This causes the victim to lash out at others through emotional abuse, physical abuse, etc. They lack the ability to see cause and effect, and thus see the world as causing their pain and suffering, rather than the pain and suffering they experience, being the consequence of their own beliefs about themselves.

Victims often resort to addictive behaviour such as the addiction to approval, retail therapy (consumerism and materialism), drugs, alcohol, etc. They do this to hide the fear they feel inside. These fears come in various forms, such as anger, guilt, superiority/inferiority, depression, and all the other negative emotions.

Victims cannot give other people compliments or praise, as they feel it will be giving away their own power... making them less. However, they are very quick to point out the negative aspects of someone or something. They do not understand that giving means receiving.

Victims see mistakes as failure, and fill themselves with guilt, instead of looking for the lesson which they need to learn. They thus make the same mistakes over and over again, and become more and more bitter. Heightening their victim status.

Victims fail to see solutions to their problems because their perspective of themselves, and the depth to which they can see things, is clouded by their own beliefs of inferiority (fear).

The victim status is a result of fear-based beliefs which keeps people in a state of lack.... of scarcity regarding their own power. These fears do not allow them to tap into their inherent source of power. Thus the solution is to identify the fears, which show up in our emotional state. All negative emotions result from a fear-based belief about ourselves. Being offended is the first sign, which is followed by anger, depression, and other negative emotions. If one can work up enough courage to face the fear and look into it to find the source, one can transcend the fear. The more this is done, the easier it becomes, and the more in tune one becomes with our inherent power source of awareness, intuition, courage, strength, ability to solve problems, etc.

Almost everyone feels like a victim in one or more areas of their lives. We need to understand that it is the conditioning that we have received that has created this victim status, and that we can discard it at any time. Nobody is a victim, unless they choose to be a victim...

Make a decision today: Are you a victim or a victor....

IS YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS A CREATIVE, OR DESTRUCTIVE FORCE?

 What is blame? Blame is merely the physical manifestation of your inner fears which create our outer perceived reality. This occurs on a personal level and on a collective level. What is outside is merely a reflection of what is inside. If a certain percentage of humans are in a particular state of fear, they manifest this fear as our perceived reality. These manifestations are therefore of vital importance because they tell us that there is something wrong. We therefore must not ignore them, but become aware of them. Self-responsibility requires looking at the problem, on the outside, becoming aware of it's root fear, which cause the symptoms, and fixing it on the inside.

 The symptoms are the things you see.... much like a headache is what you feel. How you see things is dependent on the fear-based belief system you have been conditioned with... much like the strength or weakness of the immune system you have built up through your consuming of healthy food or toxins. Humans are taught to take notice of the symptoms, and react on them, rather than to use the symptoms as a guide to the root cause, which is where problems/challenges are fixed, and disease is healed. The symptoms are only useful to us as guides to the root cause. As the headache is a warning of high blood pressure, etc. It does not help to keep taking painkillers for the headache, as the root cause will still persist, and the problem will become worse. It therefore makes sense not to try to hide the root cause by taking pills and not investigating further. Just as it is useless to fight the symptoms of politics, etc, without looking for the root cause of the problems/challenges.

Therefore, use the symptoms to guide you to the root cause, and transcend the fear which is causing it. The fear can be your very own fear, which is manifested in your personal life, or it can be a collective fear, which is manifested universally. If it manifests universally then it is because the majority of humans have the same fear, which is the result of cultural conditioning, brainwashing from television, etc. Therefore, if you have the same beliefs as the majority, you know that you are a contributor to this collective perceived reality.

As you transcend these fears, you will become more and more aware, and thus more courageous and able, to transcend more of these fears, making you a stronger person and a contributor of love, peace and harmony to the collective perceived reality. It doesn't matter how small, big, tough or weak you think you are: YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD FOR THE BETTER!!

PROBLEM-SOLVING

 A problem is only a problem until we turn it into a challenge.  How do we turn it into a challenge?  By taking a negative attitude towards something and changing it into curiosity.  We do this by asking questions... by taking the problem apart and finding the root cause of the problem.  This problem has then become a challenge.

Within every problem, lies the solution.  If you have lost your keys inside your house, do you go and look outside your house, or in another's house?  However, if we look at the problem from the same negative consciousness that created the problem, we will not find the solution.  Instead we react on the problem, often causing more problems or compounding the problem.

Have you ever wondered why people study for an exam, only to start the exam and not remember anything which was studied?  It is because when we are caught up in a negative mindset, such as stress, we are not able to access information from certain parts of the brain, where the information has been stored.

To be successful, we must change our consciousness to one of curiosity and positivity.  We must create an attitude of believing that the problem is able to be solved, and that we possess the capability to solve it. 

Curiosity means to ask many questions... Why? What? How? When?  Who? By adapting a positive attitude, we are able to see the solutions.  However, a person consumed with negativity and reaction, is blinded, and therefore not able to find the answers before them.

Once you arrive at this place, the universe begins to work with you through something we call sychronicity.  Thus, as we seek the answers, they miraculously appear to us.  This can be through a book that we suddenly come across, or the post of friend on Facebook, or meeting someone that says something regarding the challenge in question.

This no longer requires the kind of boring, monotonous research that University students have to go through, and becomes very easy and satisfying.  It instills the will to want to know more, and makes problems easy to deal with effectively, to the advantage of all, and the detriment of none.

Never run away from or ignore a problem!!! By running away or ignoring the problem, you are also running away from or ignoring the solution.  Ignoring something doesn't make it go away, it means you are merely delaying the inevitable. Sooner or later you will have to face it, and then you will not be prepared.  Guess what... Your power has been taken away from you, by you.  Is that what you really want?  Do you want to stagnate, and have life drive you where it wants?  Or do you want to grow and evolve... be in control of your own life?

Everything we see as a problem, is really a challenge to help us to learn something important that will propel us to a higher level of evolution, a higher level of consciousness.  It provides us with the tools which we will later need to face a new challenge.  Much like climbing a ladder, one rung at a time.

Life is beautiful, even with all the horrors, because we have the ability to change them at any time.

Many blessings of love and peace ♥

ALTERNATIVE FIRST AID ITEMS

This is a list of items to keep in your alternative first aid kit.  It is especially useful when medical assistance is unavailable.  Please note that this is just a list, and it is highly recommended to follow the links and read more about the uses and dosage.
Your health is your responsibility, as is your treatment of health conditions. 

1. COLLOIDAL SILVER

Uses (Internal and External on infected area and via inhalation:  
Burns, anti-bacterium, anti-fungal, anti-viral, respiratory maintenance, increases blood alkalinity, removes odours, animal use.
Dosage:  
Daily maintenance, internally - Up to 2 tablespoons
Daily inhalation - 5 - 12 inhalations

Below is a chart showing how to build a colloidal silver generator.  Use distilled water, and keep it in a dark, glass bottle. 

See the following links for more information:
http://ybertaud9.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/diy-colloidal-silver-health-benefits/
http://www.wrinkle-free-skin-tips.com/liquid-colloidal-silver.html

2.  ACTIVATED CHARCOAL 

Activated Charcoal is only used internally for emergencies.

Uses (Internal and External:
Detoxifier and poison antidote (food poisoning, toxic drugs, household poisoning, snake, spider and insect bites, teeth whitener), animal use.
Dosage: 
See package leaflet, depending on patients mass, and use.
Take apple cider vinegar and then epsom salts after a large dose to avoid charcoal build up.
See the following links for more information:
http://homemadeforelle.com/uses-for-activated-charcoal/
http://wellnessmama.com/247/how-to-use-activated-charcoal/
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/drug-information/DR602267/DSECTION=proper-use

3.  HYDROGEN PEROXIDE (35% Food Grade)

Uses (Internal (use medicinal hydrogen peroxide), and External):
Boils, canker sores, colds, colonic, corns and calluses, cuts, ear infections, enemas, foot fungus, sinus, toothache, yeast infections, cleaning, sterilising and bleaching.
Dosage:
A few drops in ears for colds and ear infections
External use:  Drops as necessary
Enema:  1 tablespoon to 4 cups of water

See the following links for more information:
http://www.flusterbuster.com/2013/06/peroxide-42-uses-for-hydrogen-peroxide.html
 http://educate-yourself.org/cancer/benefitsofhydrogenperozide17jul03.shtml

4.  BAKING SODA (Sodium Bicarbonate)

Uses:  (Internally to change pH from acidic to alkaline - acidity is the cause of most diseases, including fungi, bacteria and viruses;  and for cleaning and removing odours)
Cleaning teeth, acidity, etc.  It can be used for almost anything.
Dosage:
Depending on the ailment.
See the following links for more information:
 http://ybertaud9.wordpress.com/2012/04/22/sodium-bicarbonate-works-miracles/
http://drsircus.com/medicine/sodium-bicarbonate-baking-soda/uses-in-daily-health
http://wakeup-world.com/2012/05/07/51-amazing-uses-for-baking-soda/
http://www.cancertutor.com/Cancer02/Simoncini.html

5.  COCONUT OIL

Uses:  (Internally and Externally)
Deficiency of magnesium, dementia, hypothyroidism, weightloss, digest, and almost anything.  Also great for external health care, oil pulling, etc.
Dosage: 
Depending on ailment.  General use of 1 tsp a day is adequate.
http://www.undergroundhealth.com/coconut-oil-halts-tooth-decay-by-attacking-the-bacteria-that-cause-it/
http://healthimpactnews.com/2013/coconut-oil-reverses-dementia-in-an-85-year-old-man-at-35-days/
http://healthimpactnews.com/2013/woman-finds-relief-for-hypothyroidism-with-coconut-oil-drops-medication/
http://www.lewrockwell.com/2013/09/no_author/160-uses-for-coconut-oil/

Please note that this is a basic list.  There are many more things, like Himalayan salt, which are beneficial, and many herbs, such as parsley, which should be grown in your garden.

For more information regarding natural health, please subscribe to: 
https://www.facebook.com/greathealththenaturalway?fref=ts

For more information regarding the use of natural and homemade products around the home, DIY, food gardening tips, etc, please subscribe to:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/In-Support-of-a-Fearless-Earth/400399496699072?fref=ts

HATRED

Hatred, discrimination, revenge, etc

How do you feel when you are revengeful? Bitter, hateful, resentful, unforgiving, angry, victimised, etc. All negative feelings. These very same emotions are the ones that cause our blood pressure to rise... our heart to overwork, and put enormous amounts of stress on our organs. 

 We also attract to us more circumstances which provide the same emotions. This makes for a terrible cycle of suffering and pain.

All the great teachers have taught us to be peaceful, no matter what others do. Jesus said that we must turn the other cheek. Martin Luther King Jr taught his followers not to resort to violence, because 'the enemy' was suffering from a mental illness... and he was right. The illness of the ego - hatred. He taught his followers that love was the only way. Ghandi helped his people overcome domination by peaceful means.

Understand that people only act out of hatred when they have hatred within them. They only discriminate against others when they judge themselves.  When they feel inferior, and in so doing, attempt to gain superiority.  We do things according to our beliefs about ourselves and the world. Self-preservation and self-defense are the result of fear. Be compassionate and understanding of others and their issues. It really has nothing to do with you.. It is not because of you that they act or react the way they do.

People have a way of living up to what we expect of them... Expect and assume that all humans have something beautiful and good inside them, and they will soon show it to you.

When we feel negative emotions like revenge, discrimination or hatred, we are not being true to our inner being, which is love. We are being dominated and controlled by the ego. We have disconnected from God... from guidance and inspiration. We are not controlled by ourselves, but by others. If someone else can evoke an emotion or reaction from you, they are in control of you. You have given them free reign of your inner world.

On a collective level, we contribute to the illusion of war, destruction and aggression on our planet, when we exude these negative characteristics.  The collective only needs a certain percentage of this fear consciousness to manifest itself as the collective illusion. When people change themselves, and overcome hatred, discrimination and all the other negative characteristics, they let go of fear, and in so doing, allow for love, compassion and peace to come in... In a society dominant in love consciousness, the vibration is set for a collective reality of peace, love and harmony.

Let us stop the war and hatred in our beautiful world, by starting with ourselves. Let us be like the great masters, Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, etc. Let us be love and peace. Let us heal ourselves, and in doing so, heal our planet. It all starts with you... Yes, YOU!

FREEDOM

What is freedom? 
Some say to be free means to do anything you like... Is that freedom?  What if what you like to do feels like freedom to you at that moment, but has consequences which you don't like?  Is it still freedom?

What then, is freedom really...
There are those who have been imprisoned behind bars, tortured to the extent that their bodies cried out for mercy, yet they have felt freedom.

In a world where we are influenced by so many things which shape our ideas, our beliefs, our state of mind, and lead to attachments to these ideas and beliefs, we cannot be free, as long as we comply to these norms and social conditionings.

It is attachment which robs us of our freedom.  The attachment to the idea of who we are.  The attachment to beliefs which limit us, and thus cut our wings.

Mostly, it is the attachment to a false image of ourselves that others have helped us to create.  The pressure of living up to this false image, when all the while, our inner being is crying out to be recognised.  The need for approval from others... the need to belong, and to fit in, is an invisible cage.  It is an addiction, and possibly the worst and most debilitating addiction we could ever be possessed with.  Herein lies our attachment to what others' think of us.

It is this addiction which shapes our reality, which limits us from reaching for our dreams.  It is this addiction which stops us from being who we truly are at the centre of our being.  It is the most difficult addiction to free ourselves of... Yet, when we do, we reach a far greater feeling of freedom, happiness and respect than we ever had before. 

As we grow in self-love and self-acceptance, we no longer seek the approval of others.  We no longer seek happiness in retail therapy.  We no longer need someone to love us so that we feel worthy of love.  We free ourselves of all the 'shoulds' that others impose on us.  We free ourselves of duty.  We free ourselves of all these restraints. We realise that the source of all security, all happiness, all abundance, all freedom, lies within us.

What then of consequences?
When we do things because we 'should' or because we have an image or reputation to maintain, we do it, not from the heart, but with a sense of resentment.  We act from a negative field of emotion, and it builds up to a crescendo, until we finally burst.  We seek gratitude, which often doesn't materialise.  We seek compensation, often subconsciously, or at a later stage.  We feel bitterness when these needs are not met.

Yet, when we are in a position to do things purely from the heart, with no need for compensation or gratitude... unconditionally, we see these tasks or duties, as privileges.  As a means of satisfying something deep within our inner being, with no attachment to a result or outcome.  We are no longer dependent on another.  The invisible cage no longer holds us from our freedom...

Many blessings of love and peace ♥






 

Life Matters 4 U: Self-Improvement Products

Life Matters 4 U: Self-Improvement Products: What self-improvement tools are you using to improve yourself, and your life? Affirmation cards are one of the most effective ways to...

ACCEPTANCE

"Acceptance of one's life has nothing to do with resignation;  it does not mean running away from the struggle.  On the contrary it means accepting it as it comes... To accept is to say yes to life in it's entirety."
~ Paul Tournier

"Today I know that I cannot control the ocean tides.  I can only go with the flow... When I struggle and try to organise the Atlantic to my specifications, I sink.  If I flail and thrash and growl and grumble, I go under.  If I let go and float, I am borne aloft."
~ Marie Stilkind

Life is very much like a river... When we go along with the current, and take things as they come, we are able to give our full attention to everything around us.  We can perceive one thing at a time, and take what we need from the river.  We are calm and peaceful enough to see the beauty on the shore.. We appreciate it... We love it.... We are grateful for our life.  We can steer ourselves in the direction that we desire to be.  We have control over our lives.  We accept every circumstance and event as a circumstance leading to something else.  We can seek and find the best in everything and everyone.

Yet, when we decide to go against the current, we struggle... We swim and swim, and often stay in the same place.  We begin to panic and thrash around.  To lash out at life for giving us such hardship and struggle.  We curse life, and fight against the river.  A fight that can never be won.  We don't have any control of the direction our lives are taking us.  This fight is really with ourselves.  We have chosen it.  We think we are only worthy of hardship and struggle.  We don't see the beauty of life passing us by on the shore... we are too absorbed in our struggle to survive.

Yes, we may hit a rock, or a tree stump in our journey down the river, but we take it for what it is.... a rock, or a tree stump.  We know that it is there for a reason... Maybe to steer us in another direction... or maybe to stop us for a while to see something that we may have missed.  There are no accidents or coincidences.  Everything happens for a reason.  A divine lesson that we must learn in order to grow and transcend to something bigger.  A step closer to our true potential.

If we don't accept the lesson that the rock or tree stump provides, we become bitter, and fight against it.. or we give up.  We complain and try to find a way to escape the lesson.  We begin to swim upstream.  We decide that we don't like downstream.. that we are not prepared to go there.  We choose the path of suffering and pain... we choose the difficult path.

The great psychologist, Carl Jung, said:  "What you resist persists."  Very profound words.  Meaning that whatever we are against, will keep coming to us, until we learn acceptance of what is.  Our lesson must be learnt, so it will keep coming back, in different ways, until we learn it, and move on.  If we avoid the lesson for too long, it will become stronger and more in our face, so that we are forced to take notice of it.

It all starts with us... We cannot change or accept anything in our reality until we learn to change and accept ourselves. 

You may ask:  How do I do that?  A great exercise is to look in the mirror, and think of one thing that you don't accept about yourself... something that you are not happy about... something you would like to change... Now ask yourself this question:  'How would my life change if I accepted and loved this thing about myself?'  Close your eyes and see yourself in the way you would like to be... doing the things that you would like to do.  Feel the sensations of happiness that you would have... Now look in the mirror again, and look deeply into your own eyes and say:  "I love and accept myself just as I am."  Say this as many times as you can.... and keep saying it all through each day.  Say thank you for your life.... say thank you for your body, mind and soul...It may be difficult at first, especially looking into your own eyes and saying these words... but it will get easier and easier as you begin to accept yourself.  You will begin to smile at yourself, and you will begin to believe what you are saying.

You will begin to see yourself with the eyes of love.  You will begin to accept others as they are... and the world as it is... You will complain less, and be grateful more often. You will begin to uncover and perceive a greatness and beauty in yourself, and the world... a beauty and greatness you could never have imagined.  Eventually this will be your default, and you will catch yourself when you begin to complain, and change it to gratitude.

Love, light and great abundance ♥

COMPASSION VS PITY

When you are feeling down and depressed, hurt... or sad about something, and someone comes over to you, sees your distress and says 'Oh shame' and gives you a hug, how do you feel?  Most of us, if not all of us, feel even sadder, and will often burst into tears.  Why do we react this way?

When we are feeling sad or down, we are really dissatisfied with some event or circumstance in our life.  This means we are against what is happening.  We see what is happening as some sort of threat to us.  We feel fear... and thus feel victimised.  We feel as though we don't have any control over the situation.  We have made ourselves into victims.  We have said 'I give up'... or 'There is nothing I can do'... 'I have no control over the situation'.  We have put ourselves on a low energy frequency, and thus attract and connect with others on a low energy frequency.

"We often think of peace as the absence of war; that if the powerful countries would reduce their arsenals, we could have peace. But if we look deeply into the weapons, we see our own minds - our prejudices, fears, and ignorance. Even if we transported all the bombs to the moon, the roots of war and the reasons for bombs would still be here, in our hearts and minds, and sooner or later we would make new bombs. Seek to become more aware of what causes anger and separation, and what overcomes them. Root out the violence in your life, and learn to live compassionately and mindfully."

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Is that really what you want?  Do you want to be surrounded by people who expect and want the best of you;  or people that expect and want the worst of you?

Being in a victim mindset means that we are in scarcity mode.  We have disconnected ourselves from our higher intelligence, our divine creator, God.  When we are in need of something, it means we don't have it.  When we don't have something, we are in scarcity mode, as opposed to abundance, which is the knowing that God provides for all of our needs. 

Now when someone comes along and says 'Oh shame.... poor you', or curses the situation or person that is causing this unhappiness, for example; what we unconsciously or consciously think is this:  'See, it is true, I don't have any control over anything, I am a victim.  This person or situation causing me this pain is a tyrant.  This person feeling pity for me also sees me as a victim, and thus feels sorry for me. I have a right to feel this way'.  So our belief that we are a victim is strengthened.

When someone curses and aids you in blaming a situation or another person, they are telling you that you are powerless, that somebody or something else, is controlling you.  They are helping you to give your power away.

On the other hand, if someone were to be callous and say, 'Stop feeling sorry for yourself', we would feel unloved and victimised too.  So what would be a beneficial manner in treating a sad person?

"If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day.  If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime."
~ Lao Tzu

True compassion is not pity, but rather the belief that we all live in abundance, even if someone else thinks they are living in a Universe of scarcity.  It is the knowing that the 'victim' is in abundance, but doesn't realise it at that moment.  True compassion is being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes, to understand and to be objective.  True compassion is an understanding of the pain that the victim is feeling, yet a knowing that all is well.  Isn't it better then to acknowledge understanding, but to let the victim know that there is always a solution, and motivate the victim to find the solution?  Feeling pity for someone only disempowers them, because you are confirming that their situation is indeed pitiful.  They thus feel weak and unable to solve the problem.  Motivating someone to find the solution gives them their power back.  They realise that you have faith in their ability to solve the problem, and begin to acquire this faith in themselves, and they feel empowered. 

This may seem hard and callous to some.  The question is, are you being compassionate, and thus genuinely caring for someone;  or are you pitying someone, which is not genuine concern, but the feeding of your own ego?  Making someone rely on you... making yourself seem like a caring person, when indeed you are doing more harm than good.

Be a being of compassion, and love, and you have contributed to a greater universe of peace and abundance.  You have put yourself on a higher energy frequency, and thus attract people that are on this same higher frequency.  We are very much like radios, we connect on the frequency that we are tuned into.

What frequency is your radio on?

FORGIVENESS

FORGIVE YOURSELF INTO GREATNESS

Are you your best friend... or your greatest enemy?

Forgiveness is a rebirth of hope,
a reorganisation of thought,
and a reconstruction of dreams.
Once forgiving begins,
dreams can be rebuilt.
When forgiving is complete,
meaning has been extracted
from the worst of experiences
and used to create a new set of moral rules
and a new interpretation of life's events.
~ Beverley Flanigan

Forgiving oneself is the most difficult type of forgiving.  We are often harder on ourselves than on others.  We beat ourselves up for not being perfect.  For making mistakes... for not knowing better, and sometimes for knowing better, but still going ahead with the action in question.

When we feel hurt, rejection, frustration and pain, we often lash out in anger and say and do things that we wouldn't usually say or do.  We are blinded by our anger.  It is like having blinders on... all we see is what is directly before us and we don't like it.  We don't think straight.  We react in the moment, instead of taking the time to gather ourselves.  Regret comes once we have calmed down and realised what we have done, and the consequences of our actions.  However, it is too late... what is done is done, and cannot be undone. 

In a way, forgiving is only for the brave.
It is for those people who are willing to confront their pain,
accept themselves as permanently changed,
and make difficult choices.
Countless individuals are satisfied to go on resenting
and hating people who wrong them.
Forgivers, on the other hand,
are not content to be stuck in a quagmire.
They reject the possibility that the rest of their lives
will be determined by the unjust and injurious acts
of another person.
~ Gordon Dalbey

How does it serve us to beat ourselves up about what cannot be undone?  Does it benefit us in any way?   What good then is regret?

Regret is just something that puts limits on us... that stops us from reaching our full potential... from connecting with our inner power.  It stunts our emotional and spiritual growth, and keeps us from the freedom we are worthy of.... the freedom we so rightly deserve.

You don't have to know how to forgive... you just need to be willing to forgive.  You don't have to tell those you forgive that you have forgiven them.  Your forgiving is a private matter between you and your ego.  It is a burden that you carry, so there is no need to tell people you have forgiven them.  However, if you feel the need to do so... there is no reason for you not to do so.  Remember, though, not to expect others to be as forgiving as you are.  If they are not, don't permit that to bother you.  We are all doing the best we can with the knowledge and experience we have.  People don't often learn by being told, but by example, and by living through the lessons, when they are ready... in their own sweet time.

"All the years you have waited for them to 
'make it up to you'
and all the energy you have expended 
trying to make them change
(or make them pay)
kept the old wounds from healing
and gave pain from the past free reign
to shape, and even damage your life.
And still, they may not have changed.
Nothing you have done has made them change.
Indeed, they may never change.
Inner peace is found by changing yourself,
not the people who hurt you.
And you change for yourself,
for the joy, serenity, peace of mind,
understanding, compassion, laughter,
and bright future that you get."

~ Lewis B. Smedes

Forgiving someone for something does not mean that you have to tolerate their behaviour towards you.  We all have the right to choose how we are treated.  We also have the right and obligation towards ourselves to see things from an objective point of view.  Remember that another person's behaviour towards you has nothing to do with you.  It is not because of you that they behave as they do.  They are behaving according to their beliefs about themselves and about life... their own issues.  We always have the choice to be offended, or not.  Being offended means that we feel judged... and herein lies judgement of ourselves. 

We have the choice of whether to ignore something... or to react.  Reaction is based on strong emotions... in this case, strong negative emotions.  Whereas, if we take the time to calm down and put ourselves outside of the situation, we receive guidance from a higher power.  We then act from inspiration, rather than emotion, or past experience.

Everyone that is in our lives is here for a reason... even those we see as petty tyrants.  They are here to teach us something about ourselves.  The people in our lives are but reflections of the things we feel about ourselves.  What we hate or dislike in another is the mirror image of something we hate or dislike about ourselves.  We need to look inward and find what feelings of unworthiness we have about ourselves, and heal these by learning better self-love.

Blessings of love on your journey of forgiveness ♥